As does this....

Don and Charity are Proud to Announce the Birth of their Child, Rebecca Ryan, on October 2, 1990.

Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan got stuck on the way out and now has a cone head.

Don and Charity are terribly sorry.

What Did Your Birth Announcement Say? at QuizGalaxy.com

Just in case you are curious, my other ones said such things as-

1. Rebecca Ryan stares eerily at everyone
2. Rebecca Ryan farts mustard gas
3. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is the cutest baby ever and no-one can stop fussing.
   Don and Charity are laughing maniacally.
4. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan sees imaginary friends.
   Don and Charity are thrilled with such a strange baby.
5. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is the stupidest baby ever born.
   Don and Charity are terribly sorry.
6. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan got stuck on the way out and now has a cone head.
   Don and Charity are visiting an exorcist soon.
7. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan ate their identical twin the moment they were born.
   Don and Charity are disappointed that the birth wasn't a nightmare.
8. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is a genius baby.
   Don and Charity are confused. So very confused..
9. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan stops breathing at random intervals.
   Don and Charity are laughing maniacally.
10. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan always has a wet diaper.
    Don and Charity are in stunned silence.
11. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan vomits candy.
    Don and Charity are disappointed that the birth wasn't a nightmare.
12. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is the reincarnation of a goat.
    Don and Charity are in stunned silence.
13. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan was born with the ability to start fires with their mind.
    Don and Charity are crying in the corner.
14. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan is an ugly baby.
    Don and Charity are confused. So very confused..
15. Unfortunately, Rebecca Ryan puked on everyone the moment they were born.
    Don and Charity are thrilled with such a strange baby.

OH MY GOSH!! THIS NEVER GETS OLD!!

I am dying here.....