Every year, we alternate whose side of the family we go to Thanksgiving at. This year, it was on my mom's side, which is held at my Aunt Penny's house in Grove City. Now, the last time that we were going to do Thanksgiving at Aunt Penny's, a big snowstorm hit and we couldn't make it in. We then had Thanksgiving dinner at Ryan's Steakhouse. Not good times.
Now, my great-grandma has 4 daughters. My Aunt Linda is the oldest, then my grandma, then my Aunt Penny, then my Aunt Brenda, who I've seen probably 10 times in my whole life. Each of them have at least 2 kids (Aunt Brenda's don't come to Thanksgiving) so that's like, 8, I think, branches on the family tree. About half of them don't have kids, but still, in that whole mixture of people you have me and my brother and sister, my cousins, Micah and Andrew, my mom's cousin's four kids, Bradley, Brandon, Heather, and Hannah, her cousin, Kim's, foster daughter, and probably some more that I can't remember. My Aunt Hope and Uncle Peter didn't show up, and neither did Laurie, my Aunt Penny's daughter. Plus, my great grandparents, the multiple cousin's husbands (I say husbands because there are pretty much zippo males on this side of the family). It was a full house.
I am 17. Yet, I had 3, yes THREE, relatives pose the following question to me.
"So, Becky, are you seeing anyone?"
I must resist the urge to laugh.
"Me? See someone? Obviously you are not frequent subscribers to the oh-so-famous 'What The Muffin?'. I haven't been on a pseudo-date in 2 1/2 years. Are you joking? I will probably not have interaction with someone with a Y chromosome until I'm 87!"
Instead I said,
"No, I'm working on that, Great-Grandma/Aunt Linda/Aunt Penny."
Aunt Penny then asks me- "Are you interested in anyone?"
I resist the urge to say-
"Whoa, baby, am I interested in someone!"
And instead engage in a delightful conversation with multiple metaphors alluding to various candies. It went something like this.
"Yes, but to be honest, I'm not sure that I want to be in a relationship with him right now at the moment [speaking truthfully, let me continue] because teenage guys seem to go through girlfriends like candy. I think I'd rather be an Everlasting Gobstopper than a Now and Later."
That was quite good if I do say so myself.
My great-grandma has always seemed to believe that I was in middle school for some reason. I don't know why. Apparently I've grown greatly in the past 2 years.
"Becky, are you a senior?"
And God bless my Aunt Penny for realizing the greatest thing ever. The second I walked in-
"Becky, you look so beautiful! You've lost weight, haven't you?"
"15 pounds, thanks!"
"Wow, I'm so proud of you! You can really tell!"
"No, you can really tell! You are so beautiful and I'm not just saying that because I'm your aunt!"
I love Thanksgiving!