Note to Puppy Boy

Dear Ben/Nenner/Nenner-son/Nenny/Puppy-Boy,

Okay, dude. We soo need to talk. As much as the royal momminess hates it when you sleep on my bed, I really don't care. I actually like it. Because, when Mom and Dad turn the heat off because their room is upstairs and heat rises so it ends up roasting up there, my downstairs room without a door is freezing and you, being the big baby that you are, cuddle up next to me and keep me mildly warm and provide a false sense of security, because, Nenner, let's face it. If bad guys were to break into our house and try to kill me, although you think you are protecting me, you would run whimpering like a little girl. You proved this when i was 9 and fell out of my bed, which made a big crash and Dad told me later that you and he exchanged looks like "I'm not seeing who broke in." and went back to your sleeping. Niiiiiiiice. So, anyway, I could care less if you bring your puppy blanket up on the bed and cuddle up next to me. But when you choose to plant yourself on my feet, and I give you a gentle nudge and a "Move it, Dog.", you soooooooooooooooooooo do not growl at me. That is a big no-no. That will cause you to be exiled to gate duty, which, as you found out last night, is your puppy blanket being moved in front of the gate. Here's the thing, Ben. I let the CAT cuddle up next to me last night, because of my faux-lonliness. You know that the cat and I have had an ongoing rift ever since she decided that Eva the hamster would be a nice present to drop by my door after she caught her out of her cage. Yeeeeeeeeeeahno. Plus, I had to go tell the Momminess that you growled at me, and now she knows you were on my bed. Which means you won't be cuddling anytime soon. You would think you would learn your lesson after you were exiled to outside for 2 days, until the poo-poo weather interfered, after snapping at Dad. So, here's just a little note to warn you. NO GROWLING AT ME!!